Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Country split and other junk
So I am here just writing my thoughts on things that come up while at work. There is the occasional person that we all do not get along with in our workplace. I have found pride in the fact that I can usually smooth things over to where we have conversations or even become friends of sorts. I did that with one that sits behind me a while back. The elections changed all that. Along with some others this person claims that Obama is the saving grace this country needs. I am not quiet about how I feel especially when I feel people are accusing and attacking those things I feel are right. Now since I am one of the few that feel the way I do I have noticed that normal conversations that I used to be a part of I am excluded from, not like accidentally, but when I try to join in backs are turned and people get angry with me. Wow... One claims I have no right to think I know what it feels to be different because I am white (she is Filipino). Yeah, I have been in a situations where whenever I would walk down the road, here in Phoenix, I would be mocked, yelled at, spit at (sometimes with drink, sometimes with food, once with a wad of chew that got all over my face). I have had guns put in my face and told that I would be shot if I did not leave immediately. I have been stared at as I walked through a store because of who I was, not because of the color of my skin, because even those that were white hated me, but because of what I wore on my chest, a little black name-tag. These things happened every day for 2 years. Oh yeah... Where I grew up I had to take a different route home almost every day throughout Jr. High and my first year and part of my Sophomore year in High school due to fear of getting the crap kicked out of me. there were very few that I associated with that know of my these issues due to the fact that they did not need to or they were not there to witness them. I had two friends that I have cherished as friends because they stood up for me, both on accident because they happened to be there when something was going on. Once because this friend happened to catch the group of kids beating me down behind a restaurant that was across the street from the Jr. High. The kids had me pinned down in the snow and were punching my head while smashing ice and snow into my face and mouth, suffocating me at times. Some of the kids were in High School, I was in 8Th grade. The other happened in on it because I was visiting him in his fathers repair shop and some kids that bullied me regularly walked past and saw me in there, the five of them came in to the shop and came after me. My friend would not have stood a chance against them, neither would I, and he did not have to stand up for me but he asked several times for them to leave. There were times I had to cross the street and walk on the other side of the street due to certain persons walking on the side I was on, afraid that they would see me. I never went through a summer that I could totally enjoy carelessly as a child should be without running into someone that I would have to run from as fast as I could or ride my bike as fast as I could to get home to avoid getting the crap kicked out of me. I had kids wait around the corner and jump me and jump on the side of my head (yes, full on jumping with both feet and full weight, none of that stomping crap). I was scared out of my wits to leave the Jr. High that I went to because of the fact that they could be around any corner. I was afraid of kids that were 2-3 years younger than me that would gang up on me. All of that is true. You want to talk about fear? Feeling different? I still have nightmares about it. I Had people that I considered friends corner me and allow some of these bullies to bounce my head off the walls where no one could hear it. That happened several times, once I was knocked out and they kicked me and beat me for a while while I was knocked out. The teacher at that time just asked what was wrong as the same friend who stopped the other kids behind the restaurant carried me out of the locker room, barely able to walk. Teachers never did anything, the principle of the Jr. High that I was at hardly ever did a thing, mostly I got detention, for reasons I have no clue why! these same teachers would tell me that I would not be able to attain those things I dreamed of because I was not that "type" of child, some of them calling me stupid. Now I am being told that I have no clue what it is like to be different? I have no clue what it is like to be on the other end of hate crimes? My life from 7-16 was hate crimes against me, then again from 19-21. Sorry if I have rambled on about it, but the point I am trying to make is that you should never judge, NEVER. We all have our trials, we all have our issues, for one to say that because someone is white, black, thin, fat, tall short, all that crap does not mean that they have never felt hate against them, that they would never know what it is like to be one way or another, please leave the judging to the one who earned the job, Christ Himself.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Very heartfelt, honey. I wish I could've been there to protect you-- although I'm not too sure I could've done such a great job at it myself. I would have tried!
Post a Comment